Are you all ready for this week's ramblings? I don't think you are but I am, so let's hit it! I have
insomnia and I take three different types of medications to help me sleep. I took my nightly
meds but this night they decided to take off and I was on my own. Sleep would once again elude
me. My recent ex, has his Facebook open to the public. Why you ask, I can only assume he
does not know how to set the privacy otherwise. Mine is locked down tighter than something
locked down tight! Friends of friends can't even see my stuff, my friends can't see who I'm
friends with and I've only got real friends and family. I think we ALL see where this is headed. I
go to his page to snoop, see how he's doing and this man posted a screenshot of the infamous
text exchange proving he sent the “I'm not going text.“ Of course I have my own screenshot
showing I did not receive the text until after the police arrived. My first thought was to post it but
then I thought, “you are in your 50's woman. What the heck is wrong with you?” Why should I
bend over backwards to prove I'm right, that I didn't lie, that my word is good enough? Why do I
need the last word? Why do I care if I'm the bad guy in someone else's story? I know the truth,
I'm aware of my role, I know my faults and I know my strengths. I'm nearIy 52 years old, I'm
done proving myself, explaining myself, marketing myself, making myself more palatable for
others. FUCK THAT! I deleted the screenshot, I have no need of it.

I had another epiphany, I don't know how to relationship. I put the other person first, their wants,
needs, desires, etc and expect them to do the same, as it should be, right. Here's the rub, if they
try to reciprocate, I act like I'm an inconvenience and just end up going with their wants, needs,
desires, etc over mine. It's really not their fault, unless they lie or cheat on me then fuck them,
that's on them! So, now that I see this pattern, I know the correct plan of action is to no longer
play the game. Most would go to therapy, figure their shit out, find a healthy relationship, and so
on but I'm in my 50's, I simply could NOT be bothered. It's just not what I want anymore. What I
really want is to settle down with my two dogs, spend my time crafting, hanging with friends and
family, living a quiet, stress free life.

Speaking of not what I want anymore, Lord help. I downloaded an app that said it was for
friends, I moved here almost four years ago and the only local friend I had was my ex, so I was
looking for more friends. Gurl, Dude, or Other, if you put something online people will try to
hump you on it! I am constantly getting messages from 18-30 year olds with their peens in their
hands “come on, just touch it” gross! I could be your grandma-mama! My skin crawls every time
one calls me Mommy not to be confused with mami! lol It clearly says “Friends Only“ but here
they are poking me in the damn eye with their offending appendage! I'm 51 years old, I've seen
my fair share, and I have google (not sponsored), are they thinking theirs is so magnificent that
it's going to render me speechless. Rest assured my guy, it won't, it really really will not! I think
the next time I get an unwelcome peen in my orbital space, I'll act like I've never seen one
before and ask a bunch of questions about other dude's dicks.

Well that sure took a turn! Sorry, it was just what was on my noodle this morning at 6AM after a
night of no sleep. If anything else of interest happens I will be sure to let you know, all none of
you? Also, I gave myself the deadline of Sunday uploads but apparently even though I write
these early in the week, I can't be bothered to upload until Mondays, so Monday uploads it is I
guess! Until next time…