Can you believe it, blog ten already? What an accomplishment! Now if only I could get them uploaded to the website, on time would be wonderful but I'd settle for at all! Some of it is my own fault for forgetting but some of the blame rests on my Wi-Fi, again, one of the perks of living in the middle of nowhere.  I think this is the third blog that I need to post. I have gotten nothing done lately, no writing or crafting. It's Sunday 3:43 AM and I'm just now writing this coming Monday's blog. It's usually done the Tuesday before but being stuck at home, I have no motivation to do anything.

I can't sleep, AGAIN, and had all these ideas running around in my head about when I was little. I had such peculiar ideas as a child and would not be convinced otherwise! For instance, when you toast bread, one side is always lighter than the other. According to little Miss Annie, that was the "Angle” side and this is where you buttered it or it was inedible. One year I got a stocking for Christmas and announced, dejected, "This is NOT from Santa!“ My mother, figuring her youngest had just figured out her ruse, asked "why?” thinking maybe one of the older children blurted it out. I proceeded to explain, "this has candy and toys, a stocking from Santa has a banana, an orange, a book, toys, and candy.” Next year, you bet I got the real deal! Mom nor I ever did figure out where I got the idea of what exactly Santa puts in his stockings. Most kids don't care where gifts come from as long as they get them but Little Annie had her own ideas about that too! I was probably five, I told my mom that dad never gets me anything for my birthday. She assured me that the presents I receive are from both mom and dad, to which I corrected her, pointing out that she does ALL the shopping. She tried to explain that he paid for the gifts, so they were joint presents. I stood my tiny ground, refuting this logic, and informed my parents that I did not accept gifts picked out by another regardless of who paid for it. My father then went out and bought me a little pink makeup case. I'm positive this is the ONLY time this happened if he even really shopped for it, I like to believe that he did. He let me make him up with it, which is one of my most cherished memories.

I wish I kept this feisty little fire in me throughout my life but it came and went, I could have used it in school. I would have stayed in school and not quit, letting the bullies win. I Was 400 pounds at age 12. Now, the first thing people are going to want to do is blame my momma, we not about to do that, she was my ride or die! She had me on every diet and weight loss plan known to man back then, remember this was 1985. There was no body positivity, no obesity epidemic, obese kids weren't a thing. We weren't eating out all the time, we ate three square meals a day, the same portion sizes as my regular sized siblings. We weren't inside all day, we rode bikes, played outside all day until dark. They checked my thyroid numerous times and couldn't figure it out. I quit school in the eighth grade. I Kept skipping school because I was I “sick," (sick of little assholes) it infuriated my mother but there was little she could do. From the ages of 16 to 18, I became a hermit. I lived with my parents in the middle of nowhere. I was very shy and quiet until the age of 18, I wouldn't stick up for myself.

When I turned 18, two things happened. I got on disability, the weight had damaged my knees, hips, and back, plus lack of education qualified me for benefits and I found feisty Annie! I started standing up for myself. I don't even recognize that shy quiet version of me as being a part of me. No one who knows me, believes I was EVER shy and quiet but I would just let bullies say whatever and never retort. That would not fly today. I'm not sure what changed that year but I had had enough and I'm glad I did. It breaks my heart to see kids suffer in silence because they don't know how amazing they are! As I got older, I got bigger and so did my ego. I got a computer, Windows 3.11 and AOL, I jumped in with both feet. Right into the shark infested waters but I was no longer that scared child being bullied in school, I was a badass fatty, come get some! Boy did they, I sharpened my wit. I became quick, cruel, and hilarious! I also discovered there are a lot of people who are attracted to fatties, all this fed my ego. 

I moved halfway across the country, away from my family and anyone I knew to live with a lovely lesbian couple in my early 20's, mid to late 20's, I got my GED, my driver's license, and went to college for a degree. My parents instilled in me, “you can NOT depend on anyone. No one and nothing will last forever“ They wanted to make sure I knew that even they wouldn't be around forever. So when dad died, that's when I went to college. I was about 500 pounds when I got my second job, after graduation and got off disability. A friend passed away from complications from obesity and my health was starting to deteriorate. I decided to have gastric bypass for my birthday in 2003. I was 542 pounds that morning! There were plenty of complications at the time and since but I'm still here. 

I was purposefully vague about the journey, I can go into greater detail if you would like. Drop me a line, I'll blog about the surgery and all the tea. I'll spill the deets about what other trauma I had as a kid. Let me know what you want to read. Until next time…